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Joke of the Day
"What does Hulk say when he poops? IBM!"
Next Joke
"Instead of going to college, just read a pile of books and barely do your laundry. Same thing."
"Have you seen the new Asian cookbook? ""How to wok your dog."" Credit goes to my friend Steve"
"Bread is just bread until you drop it on the floor. Then it's toast."
"[somebody steals my car] it's only metal. the important thing is no one was hurt [somebody steals my tweet] MAY VULTURES FEAST ON YOUR EYES"
"What do they use to heal cuts in the Matrix Neo Sporin"
"People that study meteors are called weatherologists"
"So I downloaded a drawing program from the PirateBay the other day... ...it was pretty sketchy."
"What do you use to determine if a refrigerated burger is cold enough? A thermomeater!"
"What happens when a plant is sad? The other plants have to photosympathize with it"