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Joke of the Day

"What do Ken Jennings and OJ Simpson have in common? they both killed at double jeopardy!"

"My maths teacher told me to draw a square. Instead I drew a circle. He said ""That's terrible, go and stand in the corner!"" I said ""where's that?"" *- Tim Vine*"

"What do you get when you divide the diameter of a jack-o-lantern by it's circumference? Pumpkin Pi. ( )"

"I stepped on two raccoons today, but I'm just gonna play it cool and wear them as slippers for the rest of my life."

"Why did the console gamer cross the street? To render the rest of the buildings"

"My humor is so black... ...On a airport i got checked for Ebola 3 times"

"How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side."

"I never thought a fleshlight would feel like the real thing, but last night I got drunk and totally tried it. And I have to say, it was a pretty good fucksimilie."

"Interviewer: Are you good at programming? Me: Yes, I'm very good at writing nondeterministic C++ programs. Interviewer gives me the job. #nerdjokes"

"What is the difference between a camel and a college student? Camel can go days without drinking!"