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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about Ferguson? It's a riot."

"lower my casket into the ground and play ""The Lion Sleeps Tonight"" If you see someone not singing the Wimba Way part, kick them out."

"Why should you never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp? Because she's probably thick and tired of it!"

"Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women? Women working at 900 numbers."

"Truthful Tuesday: If a rapper raps about how much money he has then I download his music for free."

"What's the difference between the US and Russian Presidents? US presidents get shot while Russian presidents take shots."

"[Date] Me: how about a drink? get whatever floats your boat Her: thanks! i'll have a mai tai Me: *glaring* you float a boat with water karen"

"I like to finish other people's sentences because my version is better."

"My psychiatrist said I'm crazy. I told him, ""I demand a second opinion!"" He said, ""Ok, you're ugly, too."""

"*guy getting eaten by a shark* Guy: I just wanted to say I'm Vegan. Shark, spitting him out: Wtf man. I had you in my mouth & everything."