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Joke of the Day

"Glee has ruined that word for me"

"Donald Trump's presidential campaign emerges victorious! title"

"What was the pig when he got laryngitis...? He was dis-gruntled!"

"alright. if everything happens for a reason why did i put a scarecrow in the shower"

"So a sloth got robbed by 3 turtles... When the cops asked him what happened the sloth said, It. all. happened. so. fast."

"I hate when someone calls me arrogant. Especially when they're clearly beneath me."

"This bicyclist in front of me sure dresses like he could be pedaling faster."

"Basically, our plans for the satanic ritual fell through, because we couldn't agree on whose turn it was to get the goat."

"My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer."

"What type of government would a nation ran by Alvin and the Chipmunks be called? A theocracy."