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Joke of the Day

"The circles under my eyes are so dark, Animal Planet is following me around filming a documentary about a raccoon out of its natural habitat"

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"Straight Outta Compton Spoiler Eazy-E dies"
"Me: So tired Brain: IKR!! But wait, who organised the alphabet... M: Please don't B: N how do we know it's not actually disorganized?"
"Went out last night, i got so wasted that when i got home apparently i blew chunks. Chunks is my dogs name."
"You know you're on Twitter too much when you start learning the news from the jokes."
"Group Assignments Person: I have an Idea Me: So Did Hitler"
"Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there."
"Alabama has changed its drinking age to 28 Lawmakers warrant this by saying it is meant to keep alcohol out of high school"
"I always bring an extra pair of socks when I go golfing... ..Just in case I get a hole in one."
"I like my women like I like my presidents... Dead and illicit."