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Joke of the Day

"Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they're stabbing it? No? How about now?"

"Just bought lean chicken breasts instead of hot wings for supper because I'm a stupid fucking mature adult."

"What kind of star wears sunglasses? A movie star."

"Wife called up her mom and said, ""He fought with me again,I'm coming to live with you."" Mom replied, no no my daughter, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you."

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? an investigator."

"My first post. It's also a tech pun. Konrad Zuse's Z1 was so slow it hertz."

"How's the oil industry doing these days? It's in the tank."

"What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher. Girlfriends mom told us this ""joke"". Dad jokes are out, mom's are in."

"Why did jesus not go to australia? He couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin."

"Why didnt the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe"