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Joke of the Day

"*wears shoulder pads for the angel and devil on my shoulders *pimps their ride"

"What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk... budumdum tssssss"

"What is a hipster's favorite candy? Rolos."

"I sure do feel a shitload more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym."

"A man gives his wife a glass of water and two aspirin His wife says, ""What are these for? I don't have a headache."" The man replies, ""Great! Let's f***!"""

"I heard that Al Qaeda recently received substantial financial aid from an unknown person in South Korea. It seems the terrorists have Won."

"People should really stop making jokes about major tragedies. My Dad died on 9/11... He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia..."

"[job interview] ""What's your biggest weakness?"" ""My honesty"" ""I don't think-"" ""I broke into ur house and made love to ur cat last night"""

"What's difference between Jesse Owens and Adolf Hilter? Owens can finish a race."

"Curveball What is black, bitter and dont work worth a damn? . . . . Decaf coffee."