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Joke of the Day

"A man gives his wife a glass of water and two aspirin His wife says, ""What are these for? I don't have a headache."" The man replies, ""Great! Let's f***!"""

"Job interview tip: Tell them you're not an applicant, you're an appliCAN. Lick your finger, hold it against buttock. Make sizzling noise."

"I had to fire my carpenter Turns out he was a mahoganist."

"Why ""hooters""? Who decided breasts looked like owls? They were wrong."

"Did you hear about the power surge across the street? I heard it was a shocking experience."

"Mr Clause caught Mrs Clause cheating on him. What a ho ho ho."

"mankind tried to Make Fire by banging 2 Rocks together.. All It got was Stone Cold"

"A German bakers was robbed... Apparently everything was stollen."

"What's something 9 out of 10 people enjoy? [NSFW] [xpost /r/askmen] gang rape"

"What's a large bird hiding in the bushes called? A lurkey turkey."