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Joke of the Day

"It's 80 degrees in San Francisco today. Girls are wearing skirts so short you can almost see their dicks."

"*sits son down for the talk* You ready? ""Yeah"" Ok. When a man and a woman love each other- *pulls out Pokeball* -they throw this at a baby"

"If Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders were stuck on an island, who would survive? America"

"A cheese factory just exploded... There was de-brie everywhere"

"Some idiot just told an elevator joke ON an elevator. It was wrong on so many levels."

"When do the leaves begin to turn? The night before a test."

"Why do old men take Viagra... It stops them from rolling out of bed."

"How can you tell if your wife is dead? If the sex stays the same but the dishes pile up."

"A man walks into a bar. He bashed his head. What did you think would have happened?"

"Her: See ya later alligator! Me: *slithers into swamp*"