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Joke of the Day

"I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night. I should have used aloha setting."

"""Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees? "" Because they're really good at it"

"It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle, He just didn't have the balls to do it."

"Fuck you, Mike's. It's not ""Lemonade for Grownups,"" it's Beer for Babies."

"[me buying drugs for the first time] wow that's a very puffy jacket u have on"

"I can't believe I forgot to bring sunscreen to the beach.... ...boy was my face red."

"I don't just talk to myself. I talk to myself, get in a debate, lose, and then refuse to speak to myself for the rest of the day."

"A real woman can raise a child by herself, but a real man would never LET her"

"What is the legendary chemical? HO-OH (Hydrogen Peroxide)"

"Marriage is like a hand of cards... You start off with two hearts and a diamond and end up wishing for clubs and a spade."