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Joke of the Day

"What do you call gay paraplegics? Fruits and vegetables!"

"Sunburn: Getting what you basked for."

"I bought a Delorean R/C car today. I accidentally ran it at full speed. I guess I'll have to wait about 10 years to get it back."

"I was invited to a party and was told ""dress to kill"" Apparently a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind"

"Thinking about implanting a magnet in my chin so I can make a badass beard of iron filings and paper clips. More attractive, yes?"

"Just broke my very own personal record of most consecutive days without dying."

"I became a proud dad today, my boy is actually 4 but he was a little prick for the first 3 years."

"My ex-girlfriend once said ""It's either me or Twitter."" I wonder how she's doing."

"Have you seen www.pitchdark.com? Yes but I really couldn't see what all the fuss is about."

"Slap bass For when you need practice but your wife isn't around."