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Joke of the Day

"Pretty certain the only way I'd ever be involved in gardening is if someone murdered me & planted me in their garden."

"I really hate to get religious on here, but have you seen the thigh gap on Jesus. DAYUM!"

"Sorry I took the little stringy things off my banana and put them on your baby's head to make it look like he had hair."

"Middle only pie A middle only pie could make someone a lot of money. But I donno if they could contain the business."

"There once was a girl from Nantucket... Who carried her ice in a bucket. She walked down a hill. She had a great spill. And when she got up, she said, ""I'm going to watch my step next time!"""

"What do you call a disappointing white wine? Prosecc-oh..."

"*stares into wormhole* Whoa man, cool. *gets slapped by worm* Pervert! *worm wiggles away*"

"Why did the kids not want to eat their pbj sandwiches? 'Cause it had lead in them"

"What's the key to a good joke? .....................................Timing."

"April Fools Day is ONLY for singles. The married have their anniversary ."