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Joke of the Day

"Minimalism... It's the least you can do."

"I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says. Which makes me an eighth theist."

"So an elephant and a naked man are talking, you know how that goes... and the elephant says to the naked man. ""Its cute but can you really breathe through it?"""

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped the coffee *before it was cool*."

"Tripped over my friends bra... ..she is always setting booby traps!"

"I got some good tips on how to spice my roast chicken... I guess you could say it was (_) ( _)>- (_) Sage advice."

"There were 5 peanuts walking down the street... ...and one was assaulted...peanut."

"This midlife crisis has a lot less bank heists and high speed car chases than I had imagined."

"I just found out that I'm colorblind It really came out of the purple!"

"Thanks for warning me to be careful after I slipped & fell. I'll be sure to wish you luck on your lab test results at your funeral."