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Joke of the Day
"Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo? They only had 2 vans"
Next Joke
"I've been saying I'll sleep when I'm dead for so long, I'm starting to really look forward to dying."
"Ancient Chinese proverb say man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day"
"I read ""Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"" in 4 hours yesterday. I know it's only 6 words, but I was still impressed with myself."
"Took me three hours to drive home through the snow, but it was worth it because when I got home, my family totally ignored me."
"What's the difference between anal and oral sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak."
"If a meteorite hits a planet, what do you call the ones that miss? A meteor-WRONG!"
"Why is it so hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They're always taking things...literally."
"Damn girl, you must be a moped Because I love riding you but I'd be extremely embarrassed if any of my friends saw me on you"
"wife: ""just break it to him gently"" me: ""ok ill try"" [tucking son in bed] me: [opening story book] ""once upon a time your grandma's dead"""