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Joke of the Day
"What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round."
Next Joke
"Twitter is like a dorm, someone is always up at every hour, someone is crying and someone is drunk."
"My girl friend is a sex object. When I ask for sex, she objects."
"Wife: Do you want some dinner? Me: Sure, what are my choices? Wife: Yes and No"
"(Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.) Text: Hey what are you up to?"
"What is the difference between a Poodle and a Pitbull? If the Pitbull starts humping your leg he gets to finish."
"DOCTOR: Your leg is broken ME: So what happens now? D: We put in a cast & it'll recover naturally HORSE: [sticks head round curtain] WHAT?!!"
"Why does Jesus perform miracles on quadriplegics? He can't fuckin stand 'em."
"You can tell which inmates were involved in organized crime because their cells are much neater than other prisoners'"
"""Let's give the bad guy a ponytail."" - 80s movies"