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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: Hey why are all our potatoes dressed in tiny outfits and arranged in a little scene? ME: [hiding Photato Album] Why? Do you like it?"

"Drunk people are the only honest ones left."

"The most toxic community... Of course, Britney Spears is the person with the most Toxic community..."

"What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin? ""LINE IT!"""

"How did the astrologer cross the road? In his Taurus!"

"[Gameshow] Host: ""You are one question away from our grand prize. How do you feel?"" Me: ""With my hands."" Host: ""Correct!"" *crowd goes nuts*"

"I was just at a cell phone convention and stopped at the Virgin Mobile booth. It was just a bunch of nuns in wheelchairs."

"My Chinese neighbor was just found guilty of child molestation... What a Sik Fuk."

"Who's the world's greatest underwater spy? Pond. James Pond."

"Why are lilypads round? So that it's easier for the hippos to jump on them."