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Joke of the Day

"I hope there's a scientist somewhere in the world right now working on a way for Coldplay to get more whoa-oh-ohs into a 3 minute pop song."

Next Joke
 
"There was a guy at the basketball court He tried to make a shot in the fog. He mist."
"I'm giving up drinking. ... Hard liquor. ... On Wednesdays."
"BEARD PROGRESSION: 1. Clean shaven babyface. 2. Cool stubble. 3. Rugged. 4. Homeless man. 5. Psycho killer. 6. Religious nutjob. 7. Wizard."
"Went to a bulimic birthday party today... I saw a cake pop out of a girl."
"""Waking up when you got a baby, you feel like you drank a bottle of whiskey the night before, except the shit's in someone else's pants."""
"I like my coffee like I like my women... Without a penis"
"I ran into your mom today. I ran into your mom earlier today, she told me she made $400.05 lastnight sucking dick. So I asked her ""Who gave you the nickel?"" She said ""They all did""."
"Women sex toys cost money for Batteries! Men's sex toys cost money for rent, clothes, groceries....."
"I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you"