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Joke of the Day

"are those your eyebrows, or did you headbutt a box of Sharpies"

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"My friend Richard is protesting against the unjust treatment of Gorillas Dick's out for Harambe."
"My psychiatrist said my exhibitionist disorder was incurable. I'll show her."
"Why don't math majors like to drink alcohol? Because they don't like to drink and derive."
"My girlfriend and I are having a disagreement. She wants a huge wedding with 500 guests and a piano player... I want us to see other people."
"The problem of guns in schools would be eliminated if society finally had the courage to outlaw schools."
"Bikini season is right around the corner...But so is Chipotle"
"Why do Chinese people sound like lions when you tell them a joke? Because they ror."
"If someone specifies that you're book-smart and not street-smart or street-smart but not book-smart, they're calling you stupid."
"Torrential rainfall? Rising floodwaters?! No escape?!! Don't worry... I Noah guy."