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Joke of the Day

"When someone says we can do something ""weather permitting"" I remind them that weather's not the boss of me. Snow or no snow, I'm not going."

"Where was Timmy when the bomb fell? Everywhere."

"Detective: Do you think I should put on the cuffs? Criminal: Why? You look good in short sleeves."

"How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb? Only one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out."

"What did the Lion say to the Rhino? Y NO LEGS!"

"It's cold Son: Dad, it's so cold in here! Father: Go stand in the corner. Son: Why? Father: The corner is 90 degrees."

"""As the crow flies"" means something entirely different when it's ""in your living room"" and you are ""hiding in the closet with your cat."""

"That's the third time Adam Sandler's scootered past my house this morning. Dude if you want to go on my trampoline just ask"

"Side Effects May Include: upset stomach, diarrhea, a tail, some hooves, ok so you might turn into a horse"

"Jack and Jill went up the hill with a dollar and a quarter Jill came down with $2.50"