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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the cannibal that ate undercooked food? He threw his arms up in disgust."
Next Joke
"Why can't ears have sex? They could get hearing AIDS!"
"""Excuse me, do you validate parking?"" I sure do, champ. *kisses your forehead* Your parking is second to none."
"New Years Resolutions: 1. Lose weight 2. Volunteer work 3. Lie about 1 and 2"
"""Dad, am I adopted?"" ""No. We haven't found anybody who wants you yet."""
"You think you're pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone else's shower."
"LPT: If at first you don't succeed Repost in another sub"
"What's the difference between Julius Caesar and Genghis Khan? Caesar: ""I came, I saw, I conquered."" Khan: ""I conquered, I saw, I came."""
"What do you get if you combine a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper."
"Why can't witches get pregnant? Because all their husbands have Halloween-ies!"