138417

Joke of the Day

"The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating ""I can't hear you"" over and over"

Next Joke
 
"This girl told me that she wouldn't sleep with me if I was the last person on Earth. If I was the last person on Earth, she wouldn't have a choice in the matter."
"There are bats hanging of a branch upside down all except one. Two bats comment: ""What's happened to this one? - I don't know two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted."
"Why are Pirates pirates??? Because they ARRRRR"
"I identify as an employee wherever I go. Now I can use any bathroom I need to."
"Michael Jackson was just so innocent and childlike... After a show he'd go home and just blow bubbles..."
"I once went to a party with 10% battery life on my phone so you can shut the hell up about your ""scary"" battle at Normandy, grandpa."
"Oldie.....Mexico will never win an Olympic medal in swimming or track and field..... ... because every Mexican who can run, jump or swim lives in the United States."
"Women claim men are dogs but remember if you feed a dog his favorite food all the time, he will never leave home."
"[speed dating] DATE: ding ME: did u just make the ding sound with ur mouth DATE: no ME: we have 4 minutes left DATE: *louder this time* ding"