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Joke of the Day

"Damn girl, if you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple... And if you were a vegetable, I'd visit you in the hospital every day"

"What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk."

"Kill someone with an icecream cone and eat it afterward. They can't convict with no murder weapon. It's the perfect crime. Plus, ice cream."

"What do you call an autistic stoner? A baked potato"

"What do 16 year old boys and drug companies have in common? They are both more worried about getting inside you than being effective once there!"

"My girlfriend says I'm hopeless at fixing appliances Well, she's in for a shock"

"A dog gave birth to puppies on the side of the road... She was cited for littering."

"Why do smart people wear glasses? Because as resolution goes down performance goes up. This is a little bad but...."

"I had a frozen apple for lunch today It was hardcore"

"What will people say when Prince Charles dies? Long live the Queen."