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Joke of the Day

"Damn girl, if you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple... And if you were a vegetable, I'd visit you in the hospital every day"

"Turns out, pounding a wooden stake through a vampire's heart works even if a guy is not a vampire."

"What do nine out of ten people like? Gang rape."

"What do jehovah's witnesses believe in? That I will open the door"

"Did you hear about the confused question mark? He couldn't figure out how he got a period."

"The problem with political jokes is that... They get elected."

"What is the only reason Donald Trump watched the Olympics? To see how high Mexican pole vaulters can jump"

"There's a dead squirrel in the driveway. Mrs. Liebowitz is worried that the death might be gang-related. She's checking FOX News to be sure."

"Why are computers in Palestine really fast? Because they've got Ramallah."

"Have you ever noticed women say men only have one thing on their mind? Yet women constantly ask us what we're thinking."