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Joke of the Day

"I read the new iPhone was a commercial failure. This surprised me, because I thought it was going to be a 6S."

"Vacuuming My vacuum cleaner sucks!"

"I make out with a squirrel at a party one time, and now everyone is scared of me? That's just ridiculous, he was dead for at least 2 hours."

"How does a feminist change a lightbulb? By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them."

"A black guy walks into a police station in Florida and he never comes out."

"My son got me some very expensive cologne for Father's Day. I know it was very expensive because he used my credit card."

"In a very touching gesture, Gary Anderson attempted to call up Blair Walsh and offer his sympathy. Unfortunately, they just missed each other."

"Dogs playing poker Why are dogs bad at poker? Because they wag their tails whenever they have a good hand. Why did John's dog win the poker tournament? Because he's a Doberman."

"Why don't elephants like penguins? Because they can't get the wrapper off."

"I'm in Detroit with $80 in my wallet. Trying to decide if I should treat myself to a nice dinner or buy a house."