138044

Joke of the Day

"What's so good about having sex with 28 year olds? You get to do it 20 times because all of the reposts."

"the most awkward time in my life Was when I locked my keys in my car and had to walk into the nearby abortion clinic to ask to borrow a coat hanger."

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one but it takes nine visits."

"My Girlfriend says I never listen to her Or something like that"

"So I finally decided to read one of Freud's books today... It's been shitting on my self for awhile now."

"I'm giving up drinking. ... Hard liquor. ... On Wednesdays."

"If the quiz made you a little quizzical, what is the test going to make you? Really fucking confused."

"Relationship status: woke up next to an empty pizza box"

"Someday, when I'm really old, I hope I can sit my grandchildren around my rocking chair and text them pearls of wisdom."

"I bumped into the guy that invented the globe. It's a small world."