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Joke of the Day

"Why do grocery stores double-bag everything? Like why don't you just make bags that are twice as strong?"

"People who talk to themselves are more intelligent then those who don't. Well that's what I like to tell myself anyway."

"Friend: How many calories does heartache burn? Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire."

"A is a Canadian's favourite chord.. ..but Am is a pedophile's."

"My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science."

"How can you tell when a white guy is about to tell a joke? He glances over his shoulder."

"Those glasses really do make you look more dignified. Respectacles"

"A knock knock joke for when your SO is on her period. Knock knock. Who's there? Mr. Tampon. Mr. Tampon who? You bloody well know who I am. (For best effect, physically knock on her pubic region)"

"How good are you at powerpoint? I Excel at it!"

"What's the difference between a terrorist and a Jewish mother? You can make an agreement with a terrorist!"