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Joke of the Day

"What's the one thing Spider-man can't eat? Uncle bens rice"

"If I see someone stumble, catch themselves, & madly start looking about to see if anyone saw, I always make sure I make direct eye contact."

"I am suffering from Tinnitus Feminale... ... Everytime a women moves her lips, I hear a loud ringing."

"Always remember these 2 words in your life which will open many doors to you. Push and pull."

"I just taped the TV remote to my dogs back so I'll never lose it again. Your move Apple."

"Why are cats against abortion? Because they're CATholic"

"What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck"

"In my experience, cross-eyed employees are the best deterrent against shoplifting. You just can't be positive that they're not watching."

"Cleanliness is next to godliness in a dictionary missing some stuff"

"How do you get a horse out of jail? Hay bail."