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Joke of the Day

"Don't let them fool you. Squirrels are just rats dressed in Armani."

"What do you call a man of high authority, stoned out of his mind strolling along in the forest? Hiking"

"I haven't seen Democrats this upset with a Republican since... A Republican took the Democrats' slaves away"

"Heisenberg got pulled over by the cops for speeding Winding down his window, he was greeted by a shout of ""Do you know how fast you were going?!"" ""Not a clue, but I know *exactly* where I was."""

"What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile? Gladiator."

"What do you call a policewoman who shaves her pubes? Cuntstubble"

"""EVERYONE IS ENGAGED BUT YOU"" - facebook"

"I'm like the lemon seed that sinks to the bottom of your water glass and then shoots up your straw unexpectedly, trying to choke you."

"What do you get when you take an HIV medication and raise the price 5,000%? Rich AND famous, apparently"

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her pussy? Only 20% of the things that came out of her pussy were retarded. /r/imgoingtohellforthis ?"