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Joke of the Day

"Every time you push the potato button on your microwave, a potato appears in someone else's microwave."

"You know what West Virginians say about dating, don't you? The closer the kin, the better the skin."

"Knock knock. Whose there? Doctor. Doctor who? Oh. You watch that show too?"

"My son just announced ""I like snacks."" I'm off to draft a press release."

"Why did Hitler kill himself? He finally got the gas bill."

"Life is like a gluten allergy.. It seems like everybody but me has one."

"That chick really knocked my socks off. And I had just finished folding and stacking them, too. Bitch."

"In 20 years, I bet there's going to be a college course called eye contact."

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? AIDS"

"Two fathers and two sons went duck hunting. Each shot a duck but they shot only three ducks in all. How come? The hunters were a man his son and his grandson."