137735

Joke of the Day

"Sorry I didn't text you back, my hands are sore from karate chopping loaves of bread in half and feeding them to starving children all day."

"Why do Marxists only drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft."

"A man walked into a cafe in Mexico... ""Hello!"" he says to a squeamish waiter. ""Do you have any Mexican Jews?"" ""Hmm... let me check in the back"" the waiter replied. That's when the condom broke."

"It has just been announced that all Euro notes are to be reprinted It's being reprinted on Greece-proof paper..."

"History: delete Pics: delete Texts: delete Kik: delete ""Why yes, you can use my phone for a second."""

"Kids these days sure do love taking pictures of mirrors."

"What's the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four."

"Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater? They went to see ""Closed for Winter""."

"I've been dating a homeless woman recently and I think it's getting serious... She's asked me to move out with her..."

"*sees cars lined up outside church* wife: Is that a funeral or a wedding? me: What's the difference?"