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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I didn't text you back, my hands are sore from karate chopping loaves of bread in half and feeding them to starving children all day."

"Love is like a fart If you have to force it, it's probably shit."

"How do you order a bill in Australian restaurant? Cheque, mate! --- Maybe not the funniest buy posting because: My. My own. My precious..."

"What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year? It's a fugazi."

"Is it too early to make jokes about 9/11? Yes, you should wait 5 more days!"

"How are Princess Diana and Pink Floyd alike? Their last big hit was The Wall."

"What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest? A suicide vest will blow you"

"Wanna watch Netflix in H? I'll give you the D later."

"They say revolution breeds revolution. Resistance is fertile."

"I looked down on the earth from an airplane yesterday and there are PLENTY of trees left, don't worry!"