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Joke of the Day

"Q. Why do Americans deep fry so much food? A. They love OIL __ "

"The good thing about being tall is, you can't get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can't get lost in a crowd."

"What do you call a belt with a clock? A waist of time."

"Why were the students confused by the gay kid's performance in school? He was getting straight D's"

"Q: why do the gay guys like midnight? A: twelve DONGS!"

"Q: What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? A: ""Dead ant Dead Ant ... Dead ant Dead Ant .. Dead Ant"" (to the tune of Pink Panther theme)."

"STEWARDESS: omg the plane's about to crash but the SOS message can only be 140 characters! what are we going to do?? ME: *slowly stands up*"

"""Dad, you were at 63%, so I unplugged your phone to plug mine in"" *Drives ex-son to homeless shelter"

"Do you hear about the 2 Irish gays? Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael."

"Absentmindedness SHE""I consider, John, that sheep are the stupidest creatures living."" HE(absent-mindedly)""Yes, my lamb."""