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Joke of the Day

"Analogies are like masturbation I'm finishing both right now."

"All the king's horses and men stand over Humpty. Puzzled, they go back to reading the IKEA instructions."

"The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says ""can you make me one with everything?"""

"What's worse than getting pissed off? Getting pissed on."

"Did you hear about the bureaucrat who was a Platonist? They were really obsessed with forms."

"I got called 'fag' a lot as a kid Until the day I stood up for myself and punched my mom in the face."

"I'm so embarrassed! My wife caught me measuring my cock! It reached just to the back of her sister's throat."

"Ancient astronomers were studying the movement of the moon around the Earth After doing it for 24 hours they got tired of it and decided to call it a day."

"Dear Dairy There sure are a lot of cows around here."

"Bird puns I am a bird enthusiast. My friend tried to annoy me with bird puns, but then I realized: toucan play at that game."