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Joke of the Day

"Daisy who? Knock knock Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? DAISY ME ROLLIN, THEY HATIN"

"Had some mushrooms this morning. Breakfast of Champignons."

"My wife told me to strive for perfection, so I divorced her and started dating a swimsuit model."

"Weed doesn't make you stupid, you were stupid before you smoked the weed."

"Can you spell a composition with two letters? SA (essay)."

"Fucked this girl for an hour and 30 seconds last night Thanks daylight savings!"

"What are apricots? Where monkeys sleep."

"Donald Trump wants to ban shredded cheese... He wants to make America grate again"

"Meanwhile, in Facebook, Greta, who dislikes the gays, is about to get a big surprise from her son and his ""roommate"" of 20 years."

"Poured Tresemme on a spider in the shower & scooted him down the drain, he reemerged w/ voluminous hair & screamed at me in a French accent"