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Joke of the Day
"Ever hear that one about a jackhammer? It's groundbreaking."
Next Joke
"TIFU by ordering the wrong sandwhich at subway... Whoops, wrong sub."
"Would the Government cope in a zombie apocalypse? Vacant, horrible, disoriented people stumbling around without purpose. Plus the zombies."
"My New Years resolution. Always HD 1080p I don't know why everyone keeps asking."
"When a big account that doesn't follow me stars me suddenly, I crouch down and stay still, hoping it will tiptoe up and eat from my hand."
"What did the laziest man in the world win? Atrophy."
"What do you call a midget with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese."
"What is the collective noun for three dyslexics? A riot."
"My ex DM'd me to say I'm acting creepy then unfollowed me. Luckily, I have his password so I just refollowed myself and told him he's wrong."
"I love donuts so much I want to marry them. But then I'm afraid I would eat all our donut hole children."