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Joke of the Day

"You know she loves you when you wakeup in a pool of ice in the motel room bathtub with only one kidney removed."

"I am a cannibal with a new boyfriend. His name is Pablo I'm going to make a dessert from part of his brain I shall call it Pabloba"

"Why the chicken cross the road? To look for his cock."

"I've waited a year to post this This"

"To anyone who has a problem with pedophiles: Grow up."

"All I do is eat, drink, sleep and tweet. I'm basically just a more annoying version of a Tamagotchi."

"What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain? Anything you like he can't hear you."

"I need a gun to protect me against those that want to harm me, a group mainly made up of people I've threatened with shoot with my gun"

"Daylight robbery... I got robbed today at Shell gas station. I called the cops, and they asked if I knew who did it. I said, ""Yeah, pump 6."""

"I still call my dad ""Master"" out in public so that people stare and feel bad for me."