136935

Joke of the Day

"Whenever somebody hits me, I yell, ""Somebody grab the pepper..."" ""...I was just as**sa**u**lt**ed!"""

"*Salesman smashes through window into living room* Evening, folks. Are you in the market for a new window?"

"What's the difference between a man and a woman? A vas deferens."

"Q: What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a pit bull? A: The pit bull doesn't carry a briefcase."

"What did the oxygen atom say to the two hydrogen atoms? Man! This threesome is getting me wet!"

"I am known all over the world for my tendency to exaggerate."

"There's two things I hate. Hypocrisy and condescension. Do you understand what I mean?"

"What's yellow has wheels and lies on its back? A dead school bus!"

"Jack and Jill went up the hill, both with a buck and a quarter.... Jill came down with two fifty."

"Bi-Polar People are not too bad :) But Bi-Polar Bears are fucking crazy!"