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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's arse? A mechanic."

"I hate when I think of a great tweet and discover someone did it already. It's like that time I invented the wheelbarrow."

"5-year-old daughter: Why does Mom wear makeup? Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup."

"I used to work at an orange juice company But I got canned because I couldn't concentrate."

"So I was walking down the street the other day, and saw this black guy... carrying a tv. At first I thought, ""Hey, that looks like mine!"" But then I remembered mine is at home shining my shoes."

"Why are manhole covers circular? Because Rouleaux triangles are too hard to manufacture. What do you call 8 hobbits? A hobbyte."

"Minimize vs Close in 2014 In 2080: there were some dumb computer users who thought if they click on 'x' in Skype it will close it."

"What did Stephen Hawking Say when his computer crashed? Nothing"

"I asked a music teacher what is sooo hard about playing a violin... she said it's kinda fiddely."

"*Opening presents 1986: Please be a crossbow! Please be a crossbow! 2016: Please be a crossbow! Please be a crossbow!"