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Joke of the Day

"A feminist claims that she is independent enough to pay for her own bills And then she complains when her boyfriend doesn't pay for dinner"

"Maybe raccoons aren't really digging through trash for food, Maybe they're just looking for something to remove their eye shadow."

"To much precaution... Two security guards obtained me at the airport after they opened my luggage and found some IcyHot patches, they said: I was packing heat."

"A taliban and his wife are getting ready to go to sleep at night... ...but before that, the taliban goes out to pee. He returns back all wet. ""Is it raining outside?"" ""No, it's windy..."""

"I think my Waffle House waitress moonlights with AT&T; because I'm getting absolutely no service."

"With all the racism talk going around I thought I would do my part to put a stop to it. I am no longer going to use the word ""Vinegar"" at work because it sounds slightly racist."

"Charlie And The Chocolate Factory is my favourite book about a weird guy who murders four children then convinces another to live with him."

"Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness."

"""Make him press 1 again."" ""Good."" ""Now, 3 minutes of silence."" ""He still there?"" ""Give him 18 minutes of pan flute."" - Call Center Training"

"A flight attendant says to a man... ""Would you like headphones?"" The man replies, ""How did you know my name was Phones?"""