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Joke of the Day

"I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was just a florist."

"I used to steal punchlines from others I still do, but I used to, too."

"What did the polygamist horse get on his wedding night? A double bridle"

"What did Reddit say to his elderly mother when he tried to take her to a home? Get in the Karma."

"I don't drink anymore ...or any less, still too much."

"Doctor, I need help. I have a bowel movement everyday at 7. But that's very health, Mr Johnson. It would be but I don't wake up until 8"

"What did the tree say to autumn? Leaf me alone."

"Oh, you're straight? Well, so is spaghetti until it gets hot and wet."

"I am terrible at English... But I love meth. **Note: As far as I know my brother came up with this joke and I can't find it on the internet so.**"

"How do you know that Hindu woman is into you? Her diode starts flashing green."