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Joke of the Day

"""Whose funeral was this photo taken at?"" John, serious tone: ""I dunno. Let's see who's missing"" possible funniest thing john has said"

"I'm sexually attracted to biceps. Does that make me biceptual?"

"I hate when the cops throw me in the back of the squad car like they didn't hear me call shotgun."

"Did you hear about Bill Cosby's new biography? Its called ""The Coma Sutra""."

"An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anything for a while the Priest knocked on the wall. The drunk said forget it buddy there's no paper in here either."

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they're both stuck up cunts."

"Those signs that say ""Slow children playing"" When they grow up become ""Slow men working"""

"What does Salvador Dali have for breakfast? Surreal."

"I don't blame Cat Zingano. I'm sure most men don't last 12 seconds with Rhonda Rousey either."

"Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was out standing in his field"