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Joke of the Day

"I just bought a new computer... When i turned it on, instead of saying ""Welcome"", it said "" Hello"". It's a Dell."

"I wouldn't want to live forever. I don't even want to stay at a party past eleven."

"My sister is THE clumsiest girl i know... She's always miscarrying."

"Today I saw a baby who had put on five stone in weight in two weeks by drinking elephant's milk. Whose baby was it? The elephant's!"

"Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs."

"Whats the difference between congress and parliament? Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day."

"Why isn't Mexico in the Summer Olympics? Everyone who can run, jump, and swim are already over here."

"I have AIDS and Alzheimer's Thank goodness I don't have AIDS"

"Donald Trump's doctor has recently prescribed him Prozac. He told him it would help him control hispanics."

"What do you call an Asian woman with a white boyfriend? A sex slave."