136684

Joke of the Day

"[park] STRANGER: Your dog is unusual looking ME: Yeah, he's interbred DUCK: [waddles up] I'll tell you who else is into bread"

"What does a parliamentarian say when they're done masturbating? ""Beating adjourned."""

"What do you say to a woman that has two black eyes? Nothing! You already told that bitch twice. (Yeah...I know. It's horrible, but I just couldn't help myself.)"

"Because telescopes work using mirrors... We'll never know if there are any space vampires."

"Q: Who has eight pistols and terrorizes the seas? A: Billy the Squid."

"What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower? A widower."

"Grocery stores nowadays have amazing selection We have powdered milk, powdered orange juice, powdered eggs, baby powder..."

"I saw a veteran begging in the street which made me very upset But then I remembered I wasn't required to give the military quarters."

"What do you call Korean soul food? Okra Gangnam Style"

"God I hate Mayweather it was like 90 degrees yesterday"