136492

Joke of the Day

"What is Polish roulette? It's similar to Russian roulette, but instead of a revolver it's played with an automatic pistol."

"I wish I hadn't bought so much Encyclopedia Britannica stock in 1999."

"I woke up last night and there was an enormous black coffin at the end of my bed. So I gave him a cough-drop and told him to fuck off."

"How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, let the bitch do the ironing in the dark."

"Seems like the most reliable way to get rid of some people is just to lend them money....))"

"Got a $100 Nike gift card Can't wait to buy that one pair of socks"

"How many babies does it take to open a door? It depends on how hard you can throw."

"DONALD TRUMP DROPPED OUT!! April Fools :("

"The Seahawks beat the Panthers up so bad that people in North Carolina are wearing JE SUIS CAM t-shirts."

"My friend sure changed when she became a vegetarian... (fixed) I mean, she never actually told me she was a vegetarian. But they say you are what you eat. And now she's a vegetable."