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Joke of the Day

"Me: Hi, thanks for meeting with me. Oh is it pronounced Caroline or Carolynn? Her: anything is fine Me: ........ok Sarah, let's get started."

"Here in Canada, we leave everything unlocked so that burglars don't risk getting glass in their hand when they punch through our windows."

"Today Americans celebrate Labor Day By not working and expecting to get paid for it."

"me: helo darkness my old friend darkness, who just turned 30 and is totaly self-conscious about his age: cmon man im not old"

"Hilter was weird You would think a pig would like people who don't eat pork."

"World population:7,018,521,683....just in case some one starts feeling too important"

"What do you call 2 horses side by side in a stable? Neigh-bours."

"Me: If I have $45 and your mother has $15, how much money does your mom have? 6yo: $60 Me: That's correct, son."

"Non vaccinated I don't believe in vaccines for my children. FDR never had the polio vaccine and he was President for 12 years."

"For those who can't eat their vegetables bc of the wheelchair: There IS a chocolate shake with every one, all you have to do is pull out the straw. Edit: a word"