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Joke of the Day

"How many eye doctors does it take to change a lightbulb? One, or two? One, or two?"

"The girl that just walked by gave my dog a double take like she thought she might've gone to high school with him."

"A satyr walks into a bar... (that's the whole joke)"

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? a rip off"

"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."

"The letter E is used frequently and infrequently."

"I have a talent for only attracting people I have no interest in dating."

"I saw Denzel Washington on the street today. I said ""Hey Denzel! Can I get a picture with you?"" And he's all like ""I'm not Denzel Washington you racist piece of shit."" Classic Denzel."

"I scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked... Not sure what scared him more; my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived."

"You know you have an awesome bra... when you can do the entire Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes' song.... with just a slight adjustment of the shoulder straps!"