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Joke of the Day

"Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my shit together & yet still insult me for being full of it?"

"The Starbucks in my town just hired a Jewish barista... He brews."

"What's the fastest way to become a general in the Rebel Alliance? Leia Princess!"

"My life flashed before my eyes... ...Turns out I'm epileptic and died from the seizure."

"Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we'd still be talking about how we're not finding that airplane."

"The Islamic State is hosting a music festival in Iraq. The first annual Allahpalooza is sure to go off with a bang."

"Yoda asks: Afraid of 7, 9 is. Why? Because 6, 7 8."

"What do you call a Death Sentence for a Movie Theater Shooting? Too much to ask for."

"I've heard they are re-casting Two and a Half Men with 5 midgets."

"What is Bruce Lee's Favourite Drink? WOTAHHHHHH"