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Joke of the Day

"Car Talk So a transmission asks an engine, ""Yo Engine, hows things with you today?"" and the engine replies ""Oh you know, just another day in the hood..."""

"I used to steal identities... You people are so boring I ended up returning them."

"Dear America: it's called English for a reason. They invented it. It's not ""English"" spelling. It's correct spelling... This is a subtweet."

"Have you heard who's playing the lead role in Hollywood's latest fairytale movie? China's GDP numbers."

"[if Lois Lane was a witness] Criminal: *puts on glasses* Lois Lane: I'm sorry, I've never seen this man before."

"Paul Walker was in Eight Below... ...and now, he's six below."

"Angel: ""I think we can all agree that 6 is enough."" God (clearly upset about something else): ""NO. GIVE SPIDERS 8 LEGS."""

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Irish."

"If you woke up naked in the woods with a condom up your ass would you tell anyone? No?.. Wanna go camping?"

"I'm a law student who's doing an IT subject this semester... and i've been asked whether I know Jake Weary over four times now! Who the heck is he?"