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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Jesus, and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture."

"If the salvation army wants a donation from me then they better get a kettle big enough to put my son in."

"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming."

"How does a tractor break up with its boyfriend? With a John Deere letter."

"If the answer is 'cockrobin', what's the question? 'What's up my ass, Batman?'"

"I was in a horrible accident a few years ago, and I suffered some brain damage and lost feeling to my whole left side. I'm feeling all right now"

"I call my kettle Jim Carey, because it brews-all-my-tea."

"I would rather cuddle then have sex. If your good with grammar you'll get it."

"The Magician The magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He counted uno...dos...but he was gone without a tres."

"This one time, I cried, when my dad chopped up Onions. I loved Onions, she was such a nice, sweet, little puppy"