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Joke of the Day
"What are David Cameron's favorite people to have sex with? Cops"
Next Joke
"The best jokes are the ones that have to be explained. Get it? Because that's the opposite of the truth, I was using sarcasm."
"Hey baby, forget Netflix and chill Let's Imax and climax"
"[Meeting] *Gestures to pie chart* ""Now as you can see this chart is not nearly as delicious as it sounds."""
"i asked ""where"" I work in a hospital. I once asked a confused patient if she had pain. She said yes. I said ""Where?"" She said, ""San Diego."""
"Some people feel the rain, others just get wet... ... and others wet themselves thinking no one would notice."
"My friend called me conceited the other day. That can't be true, though. Being conceited is a fault, and I don't have any."
"I'm glad the pet stores close before the bar does. I could see drunken pet adoption being a real problem for me."
"Francois Hollande."
"There's a petition urging Bill Cosby to change his name to Cuz Billbe Cuz Bill be a rapist, of course ..."