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Joke of the Day

"[freezing huddled around fire] Dont worry I brought blankets to keep us warm *throws blankets on fire* that should last a good half hour"

"So a man was reported as having a gun turned out to be an umbrella He was armed and while the umbrella was open rather shady"

"I like my coffee like I like my women... ...in two enormous cups."

"So North Korea's Kim Jong-Un executes it's defense chief with an anti-aircraft gun. I bet he took a lot of flak for that."

"If Drake owned a breakfast cereal franchise, what would it be called? OV O's!"

"Sorry I reported your newborn's pic on FB but nudity is nudity"

"I never give money to those Salvation Army people because I know they're just gonna spend it on more bells."

"What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A baby with a punctured lung"

"What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can't hear the enzyme"

"A Red Indian introduced me to his wife... ""This is four horses....."" I said, Wow, that's a beautiful name, What does it mean....?"" He said, nag,nag,nag,nag!"