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Joke of the Day

"one man six horses. a man was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him. The doctor described his condition as stable."

"Did you guys read the book about the midget that hung himself with a belt? I heard it was top notch"

"My problem with McDonalds is I can't go retrieve my kids in the play tubes because I can't fit in the play tubes because I eat at McDonalds."

"Why are there no owls here? I WAS LEAD TO BELIEVE THERE WOULD BE OWLS HERE! #hooters"

"Did you hear about the guy who tried to drown his wife with cough syrup before finally strangling her to death? He was jailed for pre-medicated murder."

"I saw Home Alone for the first time today and now I'm thinking about anything else I've been putting off since 1990."

"An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a priest, a rabbi and Adolf Hitler walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"How many corporate drones does it take to screw in a lightbulb? That's impossible, because they can't climb the ladder."

"Glockenspiel Germanic efficiency brought to the game of Russian roulette."

"I like my hippies like I like my Karma. High."